“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek” -Joseph Campbell
Think for a moment in this quote from Joseph Campbell. All of us have somehow two major elements in our mind:
- Something we wish or desire
- Something we fear or revere
Let’s ponder on the latter for a moment. Do you have any idea how many times fear have caused many people to back away from the things they really want?
Fear, without any question, is the most destructive emotion that we can be involved in. See de following video to learn about the terror barrier we have and how to deal with it.
Fear: The Number One Thing Stopping You from Achievement and Success *
Perhaps you can’t see how to achieve a higher salary at your job. You find it difficult to get a higher status position. This situation not only makes you feel uncertain about your future, but you also experience further worry because you feel unsure about what to do next.
Regardless of your difficulty, there is one thing keeping you from getting through it, and that is fear. Fear deters you from conquering challenges and creating positive opportunities.
When you mismanage fear, you say things like…
- “I can’t complete this! It’s too difficult, so I won’t waste time trying.”
- “Learning a new skill is not for me. Sure, other might people like it – but not me!”
- “I’m sure (he or she) won’t like me, so I am not even going to bother trying to get to trying.”
Fear of rejection is a powerful force, so you make excuses to justify your decision-making. Now, stop reading and write down bad choices you had in the past, you can look them over and see where fear played a major part in your decision.
Managing fear is not about getting approval or satisfying your ego. It’s not about taking away something from someone else. Fear management is about fulfilling what is best for yourself based on what you feel your intuition is telling you.
If you don’t know how to utilize your fear to your advantage, it will keep you feeling stuck for the rest of your life.
Today you can rediscover how to tune in to your intuition so that you handle fear. When you were young, you were more fearless than you are today. You had increased confidence because social pressures had less influence on you.
This is why you used to be more…
- Curious. You would ask questions because your inquisitive mind wanted answers.
- Confident. Starting a new conversation with someone was so easy.
- Engaged. Learning a new skill and failing was fun – you enjoyed the experience.
It’s never been more important than now to learn how to handle fear. Fear is always present, so it’s something you want to always have an understanding of.
When You Step Into Fear, It Becomes an Adventure
The key to managing fear is to respond to it honestly.
When you see fear differently, it is much easier to manage. By “stripping away” fear’s outer coating, you can grasp and use it to your advantage.
You were born with the ability to control and use fear; you just forgot how to use it.
So, you must go deeper into the present and start calling out your fears.
When you put a name to your fears, you are no longer keeping them locked inside. Write them down. Now, it will be easier to let the fears go. You react honestly about your fears, and give them the correct label.
So before managing your fears, you have to say the following with the utmost sincerity:
- “ I’m afraid of …telling my boss at work how I feel about the company.”
- “ I’m afraid of …learning something new, because I think I’ll fail.
- “ I’m afraid of …speaking in public, because I don’t like my voice.”
Once you’ve called out your fears, you can continue on to approaching them in the most grounded, honest, and creative way possible.
To do so, you must move from your “reptilian brain response” — the brain in your head that’s in “flight, fight, and freeze” mode. This brain creates fear because it thinks — it does not feel.
Remember: your intellect originates in the heart before it enters the mind, so tuning into your heart is the purest way to find strength. (see a complete article here)
This sounds difficult, but it’s quite easy to do with this ladder method.
Before beginning, imagine you are stepping onto a small ladder, with each step leading you beyond from the problem and toward your intuitively guided resolution.
Then, close your eyes, consider your biggest fear in the moment, and take the first step:
- Say aloud to yourself, “AHHHHHH!” Yes, this slightly weird step is necessary because it gets your “reptilian brain” response out of your system.
- Take 2 deep breathes (refer to the breathing exercise in the previous lesson for breathing instructions) and imagine yourself taking the first step.
- Say aloud to yourself, “OH MYYYYYY!” Again, this is strange, yet important. This gets your emotional response out of your system.
- Take 2 deep breathes, before imagining yourself taking the second step.
- Say aloud to yourself, “OH NOOOOO!” This eliminates denial.
- Take 2 deep breathes, before imagining yourself taking the third step.
- Say, “Oh Well!” This step walks us out of denial and into an acceptance, and now detachment response.
- Take 2 deep breathes, before imagining yourself taking the fourth step.
- Now that you’ve gotten the impulsive reactions out of your system, say to yourself in a clear voice, “Now, what is the solution?”
- His final step opens the door to full acceptance of the event and now gives your access to a receptive intuitive response.
Once you become intuitive with this ladder method, you will realize that your ego tones down.
You will find yourself more in control of the situation and the fear attached to it. Please find one more approach on how to master your fears. Watch this video and remember to post your comments below.
* Adapted from positiveintuition.com and neurogym.com